Optimized Family Sharing Control: Why Only One Parent Can Manage Accounts & Permissions

Apple’s Family Sharing feature, designed to enhance child safety and manage app purchases, has inadvertently become a source of conflict for some families. In particular, one woman’s experience highlights the potential drawbacks of the system, raising questions about its effectiveness in sensitive situations.

A Troubling Experience for a Divorced Parent

Since its launch in 2014, Family Sharing, combined with Parental Controls, aims to safeguard children while allowing parents to oversee device usage. However, as reported by Wired, the rigid controls implemented by Apple have led to significant issues in some cases. An unnamed woman, referred to as Kate, shared her story of how Family Sharing was weaponized against her during her separation from her husband. As the organizer of the Family Sharing group, her ex-husband refused to remove their children from the account, leaving Kate feeling powerless despite holding custody and a court order.

Invasive Control and Psychological Impact

Kate expressed her frustration, stating that she had assumed her custodial status would allow Apple to transition her children into a new Family Sharing group under her control. Instead, her ex utilized the feature to keep tabs on their children, reportedly interrogating them about their interactions and imposing stricter Screen Time limits when they were with their mother. She described the situation as “invasive and coercive,” emphasizing the fear and frustration of being unable to break free from her ex’s control.

Children’s Response and Resolution

In response to the ongoing situation, Kate noted that her children eventually began urging their father to dissolve the Family Sharing account. After some time, he complied, allowing them to breathe easier. “Finally, we could all exhale,” Kate remarked, highlighting the absurdity of children feeling the need to advocate against their own parent in this technological landscape.

The Concerns of Location Tracking

While the alteration of Screen Time limits was a clear form of punishment, it was the ability to track their locations that contributed significantly to Kate and her children’s sense of being monitored. Apple’s location sharing feature enables any iPhone user to share their location with another Apple user, but under Family Sharing, Kate’s ex had continuous access to their children’s whereabouts through the Find My app. This left the children with no way to prevent their father from tracking them unless they turned off their devices. Furthermore, Kate, not being the organizer, was unable to utilize Find My for her own needs.

Potential Solutions Apple Overlooked

Although Apple did not respond to inquiries about the issues raised in the Wired report, Kate mentioned that their support team was empathetic but ultimately powerless to assist. She was informed that until her ex willingly relinquished control over the Family Sharing group, there was little that could be done. Given that Kate had a court order for protection, this situation should not have necessitated amicable resolution between the parents. Apple should have the capability to disband Family Sharing when legally mandated, yet it has not acted on this for nearly a decade, raising concerns about its commitment to user safety.

Future Considerations for Apple

Kate was informed that she could establish a new Family Sharing group, but this would require creating new accounts for each child, resulting in the loss of their existing apps and message histories. Before the family dynamics changed, it might have been feasible for Kate to gain certain permissions, such as managing Screen Time and approving app purchases. However, there was no guarantee that her ex wouldn’t simply undo any positive changes she made.

Need for Joint Organizer Options

Despite the existence of some features that might have alleviated the situation, Apple still has not introduced a joint organizer status for Family Sharing groups. This absence is concerning, particularly in situations like Kate’s but also in cases where the primary organizer passes away without leaving behind passwords. It is likely that Apple receives numerous requests for joint control, and after nearly a decade, the lack of progress indicates a policy choice rather than a technical limitation.

Addressing Internal Family Issues

While Apple is enhancing tools to protect children from external threats, such as inappropriate advertising, it appears to be neglecting internal family dynamics that can pose significant risks. The company must reevaluate its policies to better serve families dealing with complex situations, ensuring that technology supports rather than hinders their well-being.

Andrew Ludgate

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